America's Last Frontier

Hey everyone! I am sorry I have not written in FOR-EVER and I never really wrote to begin with. Not that I had much fan cheering anyways….cough…cough.

I have been spending most of my time writing about the Cold War and the Kogi Tribe. You all look extremely impressed. However, all that aside (insert French snorting here) I thought I would do a little post.

So I went to the mall yesterday. You know, America’s Last Frontier. The land of teenagers, strollers, kiosks, international foods such as sabarro, random trucks parked next to Old Navy’s, proactive vending machines. Ya, that place. I had not been in a long time. The mall can be a little overwhelming. First, you usually have to park your car at your house and walk from there. Second, there are loads of people like literally loads of people.  

But yesterday all the stars aligned and it was fun. I thought I would share some of the things you can do at the mall in case like me you have not been in a while.

1.       You can pet Chihuahuas. Like itsy bitsy probably not even street legal Chihuahuas that kids carry in.

2.       You can sit in a massage chair that doesn’t work for 20 minutes.

3.       You can laugh and laugh at Spencer’s until you get yelled at by a 20 year old Gestapo that works there. I mean if you work at Spencer’s you should have a sense of humor. People are going to laugh it’s not a library (which has turned into romper room lately I might add, I mean really..running wild in there..but I digress)

4.       You can try on little seatbelts at Fuego (go there you will understand) and they even have an awesome Union Jack one so enjoy!

5.       You can talk to nice Hispanic workmen on their break.

6.       You can see the really cute makeup artist boy who works at Mac.

7.       Really, the people watching should be #1. You can’t beat it. It’s even better than an airport although not better than a dog (Greyhound) station.

 

Anyway, see you around.